Archive for September, 2007

It’s dark by 7PM, it’s cold and dark when you wake up in the mornings, it can only mean one thing:
It’s winter. ♥

I just hope I’m better to enjoy the majority of all the funs of Winter; getting to wear lots of layers + scarves without funny looks, basking in the cold dark weather, seeing everybody miserable because they don’t have their sunshine- despite the fact they complain when it is sunny, and so forth.

I went back to the doctors yesterday, they’ve given me medication to control being sick all the time, and I have to go to the hospital hopefully sometime next week for a chest x-ray and blood tests. I say hopefully next week, because I have to wait and see whether or not they’d be frying any baby I may have growing in my WOOOOOOMB.

Aside from that, I’ve nothing really to say. I still haven’t had ‘the talk’. I’m not feeling as down as I was, as my dad promised me when I’m better we can go on a trip to London (I’ve always wanted to go with my parents. LOL sad, I know.), and as an early Christmas present, he’s going to buy me tickets to see my favourite comedian Frankie Boyle live.

♥: Hungry.
♪: BLOOD – BLOOD ft. Exo-Chika 

I’ve honestly got no idea why I insist on uploading photos of me with my entries. Maybe because my entries cry out for photos, or maybe it’s so I can preserve “the best years of my life” on the internet, so when I’m old and decrepit, I can look back and weep as I croak to myself, “I miss my youth”.

So. Unless I’m writing this from the grave, I’m not dead yet from coughing up blood, though on Saturday I decided to be spicy and add stomach lining to the mix, lulz. Aside from the sickness, fever has returned a little, as well as dizziness and general feeling drained, but that’s all to be expected, I suppose. I see the doctor again tomorrow, I’ll find out whether or not I’ll have to go get that chest x-ray. :/

Aside from that, I’m feeling pretty low. I’m fed up of being ill, I’m fed up of having no money, I miss my friends, I’m fed up of being so detatched from everyone and everything, I’m fed up of nothing feeling right, I’m fed up of being unable to concentrate and prioritising what needs to be done, I’m fed up of over analysing things and knowing the outcome of stuff before it happens, I’m fed up of being jealous, I’m fed up of being alone, I’m fed up of being the scapegoat and most of all I’m fed up of waiting for a phonecall I’m probably not going to get, even though they know it’s improtant to me. I’m fed up of having to do everything myself, I’m fed up of nagging and whining, and how I always come second.

And people always wonder why I’ve got a face like a slapped arse.

♥: ….Fed up.
♪: 2 Bullet – Humankind.

So I just came back from the doctors. I had an appointment with a nurse, who was the only one available. I told her my situation and she was just like…. so? And referred me to a doctor. He was quite concerned, as I’m now coughing up blood. I have to go back in a weeks time, and if things are still as they are, or worse, I have to go get a chest scan. woot.

In other news, I heard about Miyawaki Wataru (pictured left). For those that don’t know, the vocalist of visual kei band 12012 was arrested on charges of strangling a female friend, who’s injuries took a week to heal. On August 12th in Toshimaku, Tokyo, the suspect Miyawaki was drinking with friends, where he got into an argument and allegedly strangled a 21 year old female. At that time, due to the suspect’s drunken state, in regards to the police investigation, he has confessed.

Despite the fact I haven’t followed 12012’s music since around 2005, I was really surprised to hear about this. I guess you just don’t think music artists are capable of doing such things. But anyone is capable of anything when pushed, I guess. I don’t know how I feel about this, but no doubt it’s gonna cause drama llama amongst the jrock fandom, but it’s going to knock 12012 for six, that’s for certain. That is, if it doesn’t break the band apart.

♥: Sore throat
♪: Madness – House of Fun

Okay, so, going back to school didn’t really make things better. Infact, it’s come back just as bad as it were the beginning of last week. Except now with added throwing up so much, my throat is red raw. Joys. Me and my dad decided that I can’t go on like this. School isn’t making me feel any better, and things aren’t looking too good for me, so I went to the sixth form office today. The head of sixth form wasn’t there to talk to, but I spoke to this fairly youngish guy, who’s name I forget and he was quite sympathetic and happy to help, since I was concerned about my education. We decided that going on a part-time timetable wouldn’t work, because there’s no saying when I’d be feeling okay and when I wouldn’t, so instead, I have to come in once a week, collect some work, have a quick breifing, and then do the work at home.

In short; I don’t have to go to school until November. Score.

In other news, I am right now completely obsessed with House of Fun by Madness. I found out that half of the video was filmed at Great Yarmouth, which is just 20 minutes from me, and I found that really exciting.

♥: Sore throat
♪: Killer Instinct – Controlling Transmission (Glacius’ Theme)

For some reason, when I tried to copy and paste a title into my subject box, instead of what I wanted, I got “Being eaten alive by the great fudge demon”. Curious, but I think I’ll keep it, haha.

So today was my first day back at school, and it almost freakin’ killed me. I’m not better, and the fact I almost threw up on the way there, and came over all hot and dizzy in school kinda confirmed that. But I can’t complain, my day consisted of bumping into Mr Theobald, who assured me I hadn’t missed much in Photography and he’ll get me up to speed soon, sorting out my EMA, discovering I probably won’t be paid despite getting a doctors note and all that jazz, and using up all my sick time for this term (until January, basically), so basically, I wasted my week. Well, for the rest of this term, I won’t bother calling in when I’m sick. No point if I’m not going to get paid. But I digress. I then sat outside trying to get cool and get over the dizziness. Failed miserably. Talked to Bower, who asked if I was better. I said I wasn’t.  I asked if I’d missed out on anything. I hadn’t. Tried to log in. My accounts been disabled.  Go pay Techie a visit. Get my account reset. Catch up on work I’ve missed for 20 minutes. End of lesson. Go to next lesson, Kettle wasn’t there. So I go home and stay home.

Being there for just 2 hours exhausted me. I don’t think I’m ready to go back full time, but I’ll try my best for this week, at least. I should at least attend one of each lesson, get to know my new teachers, and actually find out what I’m doing.  I didn’t see anybody today, but I think I’m kinda thankful for that. I was meant to meet Charlie at break, but I didn’t feel like hanging around. I feel a bit guilty for that. I’ll see some of them in assembly tomorrow, I guess. And then I have to loiter around like a loner for an hour before my only lesson for that day. Joy. I’ll sit out side and try not to die, I guess. Bah, I feel weak, pathetic, and I don’t want to be at school anymore. But I don’t like the prospect of working either. Council estate mother in the future? Oh yes.

On the upside, I managed to get hold of the Killer Cuts album, which was the soundtrack to the SNES game ‘Killer Instinct’. I used to love that CD, but I sadly managed to lose it either a) when we moved house 10 years ago or b) when my brother abducted my SNES. I think it was the former. But after listening to the CD again, it’s occured to me I actually only liked 3 of the songs. But it’s all good, or something.

One day, I’ll stop whinging.

♥: A mixture of things.
♪: Killer Instinct – Controlling Transmission (Glacius’ Theme)

Ohohoho.

Yeah, turns out I was quite ill. A “viral infection”, according to the quack. I don’t know what that exactly entails, but it did leave me bed-bound for the best part of 2 weeks, and only just now beginning to feel slightly more human. It also meant I got 2 weeks off school, which is pretty cool as it extends my holiday, but it also kinda sucks as I now have the shitty task of going back later than everyone else, I missed the goodbye-do, and apparently I might not get paid for my absence, which is shitty shitty shitty.

 On the upside, when I was will, I lost a lot of weight from my face. Ignore the stupid expression, but at least you can actually see my cheeks and stuff, instead of just flab. Woot.

And I just found out I’m not in Freya’s photography this year. Aces. She’s not got anyone in her group who was in our photography last year, which means I probably have my old group, which is a slight relief, but it also sucks as it means I’m not with my best friend. But whatever. We’ll still see each other around, I guess. And we’re going to do a collaboration piece sometime soon, which, creatively, will be really fun. Or stressful. Hopefully fun though.

Actually, when I think about it. I’m scared to go back. Do not want, do not want, do not want, do not want.

♥: DO NOT WANT.
♪: Unreal Tournament – The Course

I take back that +1 negative, and instead add a +1 positive.

So, I had Emma stay over on Friday, and I had a really good time. We met in the city and had a couple of drinks (by a couple I mean we both had 2 green kagoons, 2 frisky bisons and 2 cherry sourz…. whoops) and mocked the hideous in the pub, came back to mine, ordered a pizza, mocked the hideous online, introduced Emma to Kaya (:DDD) and watched Beavis & Butthead Do America. We then stayed up until 3 in the morning chatting and gnat hunting with Gackt. It also kinda made me realise that I’m gonna miss her loads when she goes to Uni, but as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I can always visit her in Preston, and she’ll be back in the holidays, so… it’s not so bad I guess.

So anyway. Tomorrow. I go back to school. Tomorrow. D: And I am currently suffering from Jemi-flu (far worse than man-flu), and I haven’t felt this shitty since…. I dunno, not for a while now. So tomorrow is going to be a barrel laughs, I’m sure.

♥: DYING.
♪: Muse – Map of the Problematique.