Let’s have some drinks, you’re buying.

♥: Slightly sick from too many yoghurt coated raisins.
♪: N/A.

There were all sorts of stalls, including homemade crafts, French crepes, German BBQ.

A Greek antipasti (for want of a better phrase), and baklava. Also! One stall had items for sale from my brothers and sisters (Romania~~)

There were, of course, other stalls, but it was busy and cold and I didn’t really want to get my camera out too much, I’d already dropped it once before I left the house, I didn’t think it’d survive many other falls. I also went to Chapelfield fair, but I didn’t stay for very long as it was starting to drizzle and well, a fair is a fair really, you can expect many of the same things no matter where you go.

So I’ve included a little bit of play alongside my work this week. It’s been nice. But now I’m going to play The Sims 3 and enjoy the rest of my day.

♥: Fine.
♪: N/A.

My landline (and subsequently, internet) has been down for a week now, and as luck would have it, my mobile phone broke at almost the exact same time. So, when I am at not at work, I have no contact with the outside world.

I don’t even have a great lot to do with my friends at the minute, they all seem quick to make plans with me, and even quicker to break them. My two favourite examples of recent times, is arranging to meet up for food, after I get paid, instead, I find that my friend has gone to the place where we were going to go, the day before I get paid, with our usual friends that we hang out with, and then (I’d already assumed our plans were cancelled) went somewhere else entirely different with somebody else the day we were meant to be going out. My other example is arranging to have somebody who I’d not seen for a while come over to mine, and then go out for a drink, and then they just didn’t show up at all. You know who you are.

Thats fine, I’m kind of used to it by now. But what really pisses me off is that I think deep down they don’t bother inviting me out because I say no a lot of the time. I say no a lot of the time because my circumstances are entirely different to them, and they don’t seem to understand that. They are lucky, they work 9 – 5 jobs, have weekends free, and make considerably more money than I do. I would love a 9 – 5 job, with free weekends. I normally get in from work at around 8:30 or 9:30pm, depending on which day it is, including Saturday. Very rarely do I get 2 days off together, and I get 5 weekends free a year. Those Saturdays I’m not free, I don’t particularly fancy going out after spending 8 hours on my feet. Also, most of the time, I’m kind of broke. I have to worry about rent, bills, doing up the place, buying food, and those things kind of take priority over pissing my money away on alcohol and taxi rides. Thats why when I do make plans and I know I can stick to them, I kind of expect people to stick to them also. I also still like to be invited, and included in things, even if I’m not able to go, because, you know, I’m still your friend. I can’t help the hours I work, or the fact I don’t have much spare cash. But don’t use that as an excuse to alienate me, or back down on plans.

Back when I’m no longer a recluse, I guess.

♥: Bah.
♪: Framing Hanley – Lollipop.

Yesterday I went to the doctors to have my blood work made up to send for tests for my thyroid and kidneys. I don’t know if it was because I was tired or had other things on my mind, but I felt really nervous about getting it done, which is unusual for me. I go in, and the first needle is inserted and oh my god, it was painful. Really painful. And no blood came out. We waited for a little while, and then a ‘ffffff’ noise happened, which made me jump and the vein sprayed a little blood into the tube (sorry if anybody was planning on eating before reading this!) and then nothing else happened. So they tried another vein… nothing, it collapsed. They tried another vein… it collapsed. A second nurse was brought in… and again, veins collapsed. Each time was more and more painful and by this point I was crying and shaking because we’d reached something like needle seven at this point, and still, nothing, and each time it was getting more and more painful. Eventually I was referred to the hospital, where they managed to get the blood out fine, and it barely hurt at all. I was told, before I left the doctors, that I may get “a little bruising.”

…To the left you can see the “little” bruising they’re talking about. It looks much worse IRL. D: I think that’s the ‘ffff’ vein and one other one they desperately tried to get blood out of. My other arm also has marks. D: I don’t think I have it in me to ever become a needle-using drug addict. Now I wait to hear for the results I guess, fingers crossed it’s nothing too sinister.

Apart from that, everything is good. I get my till training tomorrow which is excellent as it’s a bit embarrassing when a customer want’s to be served and I have to say I’m unable to serve them because I haven’t been taught yet. I am loving my job though, and it is surprisingly challenging. I just hope I pick up everything at a steady pace and I pass my three-month probation period.

♥: Tired
♪: KoRn – Here To Stay

The less I have to do with them, the better.

♥: Blank.
♪: Schwarz Stein – Emergence of Silence

I switched on my old phone to find a text from somebody, and found the texts from Ben from when we first got together almost 2 years ago exactly. Now I can’t stop crying.

I wish I could figure out why he’s doing this. I miss him so much.

♥: Upset.
♪: The Mars Volta – Inertiatic ESP

In other news, for the past two weeks I have been feeling nauseous, have constant indigestion (even when I haven’t eaten), headaches, feeling tired and occasionally being sick. At first I worried I could have been pregnant (which would have been a total pain in the ass considering my situation with Ben, which, by the way, has not improved.) but I did a test which came back negative, and on top of this, my kidneys began to hurt. So, I decided it was time to go to the doctors.

However, I never changed to a closer practice after moving house, as I knew I wouldn’t be here long, but because of the fact uni has early morning starts and my practise disallowing to pre-book appointments in advance (meaning you have to call on the day), getting an appointment hasn’t been easy. So I decided to try out the walk-in centre that recently opened in the city.

I was seen to very quickly (as in within 1 minute), but oh my God, the service is terrible. I explained my symptoms, and all she kept hounding me about was how I might be pregnant, despite telling her I had already done a test and it had returned negative. Her other offered opinions were food poisoning; which she suggested going on a fast of just apple juice and dry toast and see how I feel, or that I’m stressed, which I admit was highly likely, but her advice? See how I feel in a month, and if it gets too much, go back to my parents for a week. And on the way out, she asked me if I would like to take some condoms with me.

….:|

NO, I WOULD NOT LIKE SOME CONDOMS, THANKS. I WANT AN ACTUAL CONFIRMED DIAGNOSIS.

So after wasting my time in the walk-in centre, I went to my GP’s anyway. The walk-in centre was a waste of time and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, unless you’re basically dying, in which case I suggest going to hospital.

It turned out, in the finish that I have Pyelonephritis, which is basically a kidney infection. I don’t seem to have much luck with my kidneys, huh? My GP never even mentioned pregnancy, or food poisoning, which just goes to show, really. Because I don’t know what caused my kidney stones yet, or what type of infection it is, I had to be put on broad spectrum antibiotics (which made me smile as it made me think of House, I’m such a loser) and on Friday I have to call up and see if the antibiotics given to me will cure the infection or whether I’ll need to start a new course of treatment.

…Suffice to say, lesson learnt! I hadn’t expected it to be a kidney infection, or associated with my kidneys at all, but it all kind of makes sense now. I think stress is still a big part of it, so after my infection clears I might go back to the doctors about that.

I’m hungry. I’ll go get food later. Maybe.

♥: Hungry.
♪: Pure Reason Revolution – Asleep Under Eiderdown

Ben was leaving on Sunday, and I was supposed to be seeing him on the Friday for the final time before he left for Essex. For a few days before I was supposed to be seeing him, he had been in Wales visiting his brother, who was going  to drop him back reasonably close-ish to Norwich on the Friday, and then me and Ben would meet up. I text Ben whilst he was in Wales, nothing of relevence really, but considering I was supposedly his girlfriend at the time, it warrented a reply. Nothing. Which put me off bothering texting him anymore whilst he was in Wales, he obviously had no interest in talking to me. Didn’t hear anything from him until around 4:30pm on Friday saying he and his brother were delayed, but were on their way back, and we’ll go out to dinner when he gets back into Norwich. He texts me again at 7:30pm saying to meet up at 9:30pm. I was kind of disappointed that I was only seeing him for a few hours but still…

I go round there for 9:30pm, where he proudly announces that he had already eaten with his brother, and was too tired to go out. Myself, on the other hand, hadn’t eaten all day due to the fact Iwas under the impression we were supposed to be going for a meal. So how did we spend our last night together? Watching TV for 2 hours, before going to bed. He didn’t ask once if I was okay, even though I was visibly upset/angry about this.

He basically spent the morning packing stuff up and getting ready for work. I walked with him to work when he just gave me a kiss and said ‘See you soon’. There was no discussion about where the ground lies with us, no tenderness, no nothing. He was just so blasé about the whole thing entirely.

Since I last saw him, I haven’t heard anything from him. I know he’s been busy and it hasn’t been that long, but no texts, no nothing. Even though I tried texting him, he just ignored it. So.. I’m pretty much assuming that’s the way it’s going to be from now on. So much for always wanting me in his life, and to carry on being in contact with me. Because let’s face it… if he couldn’t be bothered to reply to a text whilst he was visiting his brother… couldn’t be bothered to put in any real effort for the last time I’m supposedly seeing him whilst he’s in Norwich… can’t be bothered in Essex, what bloody chance have I got?

Like always when it comes to him, I’ve come last. But that’s nothing new – I always have. It’s not like I’m asking for much, does it really take that long to reply to a text? To see how I’m doing? So much for being my best friend.

And yeah… I’m feeling pretty damn rejected. But again, that’s nothing new.

♥: Rejected.
♪: Pure Reason Revolution – Les Malheurs

Currently I am doing an all-work, no play with Uni work and I’ve offically burnt myself out and don’t want to do anymore. So a procrastinating entry ensues… and then I’ll have to start actually doing work again after. -____-

As of right now, this is my idea of a perfect night in:
 - One of my dad’s homemade tandoori curries and onion salad, watching crap on the telly.
- A nice hot bath with anything lavender in it.
- Slip into bed with a hot waterbottle and super cosy pjyamas.

Maybe I’ll treat myself to that once I get all my work done~!

♥: Procrastinating.
♪: Pure Reason Revolution – In the Realms of the Divine

Two of my housemates are in the kitchen when I start to wash up a saucepan to use, one leaves and another starts using the cooker. I put the pan down to one side and start fiddling about with my food cupboard, patiently waiting for the other to finish cooking. Instead, he takes the saucepan he just saw me wash up, and starts cooking with it.

…:|

♥: Hungry
♪: Britney Spears – Oops! …I did it again.