Let’s have some drinks, you’re buying.

♥: Slightly sick from too many yoghurt coated raisins.
♪: N/A.

There were all sorts of stalls, including homemade crafts, French crepes, German BBQ.

A Greek antipasti (for want of a better phrase), and baklava. Also! One stall had items for sale from my brothers and sisters (Romania~~)

There were, of course, other stalls, but it was busy and cold and I didn’t really want to get my camera out too much, I’d already dropped it once before I left the house, I didn’t think it’d survive many other falls. I also went to Chapelfield fair, but I didn’t stay for very long as it was starting to drizzle and well, a fair is a fair really, you can expect many of the same things no matter where you go.

So I’ve included a little bit of play alongside my work this week. It’s been nice. But now I’m going to play The Sims 3 and enjoy the rest of my day.

♥: Fine.
♪: N/A.

My landline (and subsequently, internet) has been down for a week now, and as luck would have it, my mobile phone broke at almost the exact same time. So, when I am at not at work, I have no contact with the outside world.

I don’t even have a great lot to do with my friends at the minute, they all seem quick to make plans with me, and even quicker to break them. My two favourite examples of recent times, is arranging to meet up for food, after I get paid, instead, I find that my friend has gone to the place where we were going to go, the day before I get paid, with our usual friends that we hang out with, and then (I’d already assumed our plans were cancelled) went somewhere else entirely different with somebody else the day we were meant to be going out. My other example is arranging to have somebody who I’d not seen for a while come over to mine, and then go out for a drink, and then they just didn’t show up at all. You know who you are.

Thats fine, I’m kind of used to it by now. But what really pisses me off is that I think deep down they don’t bother inviting me out because I say no a lot of the time. I say no a lot of the time because my circumstances are entirely different to them, and they don’t seem to understand that. They are lucky, they work 9 – 5 jobs, have weekends free, and make considerably more money than I do. I would love a 9 – 5 job, with free weekends. I normally get in from work at around 8:30 or 9:30pm, depending on which day it is, including Saturday. Very rarely do I get 2 days off together, and I get 5 weekends free a year. Those Saturdays I’m not free, I don’t particularly fancy going out after spending 8 hours on my feet. Also, most of the time, I’m kind of broke. I have to worry about rent, bills, doing up the place, buying food, and those things kind of take priority over pissing my money away on alcohol and taxi rides. Thats why when I do make plans and I know I can stick to them, I kind of expect people to stick to them also. I also still like to be invited, and included in things, even if I’m not able to go, because, you know, I’m still your friend. I can’t help the hours I work, or the fact I don’t have much spare cash. But don’t use that as an excuse to alienate me, or back down on plans.

Back when I’m no longer a recluse, I guess.

♥: Bah.
♪: Framing Hanley – Lollipop.

All in all, I’m not too happy.

♥: Tired
♪: Diana Vickers – My Wicked Heart

But you didn’t have to cut me off.
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing.
And I don’t even need your love.
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.
You didn’t have to stoop so low.
Have your friends collect your records, then change your number.
I guess I didn’t need that, though.
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

—

Now and then, it takes me by surprise when I find a song that describes how I feel exactly, word by word.
Most people can probably guess who I am referring to in this case, but I often feel like there’s lots of people that I used to know.

♥: Melancholy (also hot.)
♪: Gotye feat. Kimbra – Somebody That I Used To Know.

My New Years Resolutions for this year are;

o1. Lose weight.
o2. Buy a freaking wardrobe.
o3. Get a haircut (3 years is long enough without one)
o4. Stop worrying so much.
o5. Accept that I cannot pull off pale lipstick, and embrace the dark.

Optional o6. Meeting a nice boy would be nice… :>

Christmas was fine, went by quickly, narrowly escaped being ill again for it this year by being sick the week before, meaning I had to take some time off work whilst I felt sorry for myself and took as much cold & flu remedies as possible without giving myself liver poisoning. The downside is, as I haven’t been working for my current job for 2 years or more (so close & yet so far), I had to take my time off unpaid, so I am currently very, very skint. It’s going to take a couple of pay days to get myself comfortable money wise again. Still, that’s life.

After whining and stomping my feet about not being able to lose any weight, I did manage to lose 2lbs, however I think with the re-introduction of mince pies and other festive food, it’s safe to assume that those 2lbs have definitely gone back on. But it’s fine, one all the leftover Christmas food has gone, I’m going to be very strict with myself, and I also hope to introduce a gym membership into the mix and actually go. So in theory, this time next year, I’ll be so slim and toned, if somebody shot me, I’d be able to deflect the bullets with my rock hard abs. HAH. But seriously, it is something I have to do for myself. I felt so good about myself when I lost that tiny little bit of weight, and (coincidental, I’m sure) I was hit on by an attractive man on a night out, which I now regret not following through with. However this all came to an abrupt end when I saw the photos of myself from that night (the one on the left being the only passable photo) and now I’ve gone back to feeling shit about myself. Ahhhh.

I’m still very much in a all work, no play mode. I find it very difficult to relax when I’m not at work nowadays, I think a lot of it is to do with shift work, a prime example of this being finishing work at 9pm, with an 8am start the very next day. When I wake up, I never, ever feel refreshed from a nights sleep, and if I get up before 10am, it nigh-on kills me. I prefer to keep my days off now for lazy days, or visiting my parents. I did make plans to see some people here and there during days off, but the last two people I have arranged to meet up with, both just bailed with no warning. So now I can’t be bothered. I’d rather stay in my pajama’s and watch Coach Trip anyway.

Still, despite everything, I hope to get back to my usual chipper self soon enough. I am meeting up with one of my best friends, Emma tomorrow for a catch up, and getting a Café Nero’s white chocolate mocha before I really do have to cut out everything that is remotely delicious.

On a side note, I finally started playing Assassin’s Creed: Revelations today. As always, the game is gorgeous. But what on EARTH have they done to Altair/Ezio/Desmond’s faces?! They all have beady eyes and buck teeth now. Not a sexy look. D:

♥: Tired.
♪: Korn ft. Skrillex – Narcissistic Cannibal

And of course, mandatory set-list:

ACT ONE:

Aeropause

Goshen’s Remains
Apprentice of the Universe
The Bright Ambassadors of Morning
Nimos & Tambos
Voices in Winter / In the Realms of the Devine
Bullitts Dominae

ACT TWO:

Blitzkreig (with elements of Disconnect)
Black Mourning
Les Malheurs
Valour

Deus Ex Machina
Last Man, Last Round

ENCOURE:

In Aurélia
The Twyncyn / Trembling Willows.

So, that now means that I will never see Golden Clothes/Disco live *sob*, and I was surprised about a few of the songs making an appearance on the list (LM, LR), and some not making the cut (Apogee), but overall it was a great set. It was lovely to hear He Tried to Show Them Magic! live,

and in fairness, when you get a band that has very few mediocre songs, it was always going to be difficult to make a set list that everybody would be happy with.

I must admit, I wasn’t all that up for going to see them on the night, due to being at work since 8am (which meant a 6am wakeup call), however, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t go, but when I got there, in the same spot I always stand when I see PRR and I felt my anticipation raising higher and higher, I knew it was worth the long day. I sang along to every song, I danced, I shouted a request for Golden Disco, the band were on top form and looked happy, it was pretty damn amazing. You know you’ve had a good time when you wake up the following morning feeling like you’ve been hit by a bus, and your throat is red raw! I only got to speak to Jamie from the band after the gig, but he was really lovely. He’d remembered me from other shows, and asked me if I was going to the London show (I couldn’t unfortunately, and it’s now something I bitterly regret. If only I had more money!) and gave me a hug, so I was riding pretty high on that after the show.

But really, almost 2 weeks later, has it really sunk in, that it’s the end for Pure Reason Revolution. Which is a real shame, because their latest album was the most polished I had heard them, and I feel bad that this band never, ever got the attention that they really deserved, which leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing that was one of the primary reasons they split, with all of the band members on good terms with one another. Maybe it’s selfish of me to say, but I almost feel hard done by that I’m losing my favourite band because they just couldn’t get the break they were looking for, despite having one of the most solid, loyal fanbases I’ve witnessed.

So naturally, since the gig I’ve been playing all 3 albums on repeat, and I hope that one day they may decide to give it another crack and reform. Just remember guys, those electricity bills aren’t going to pay themselves.

♥: Roasting.
♪: None.

I’m still alive; I’ve just been lacking in an internet connection to update.

I’d love to say that I’ve been leading an extraordinarily exciting life, but really, I haven’t. I wake up, I shower, get dressed and put make up on, I have brunch (I’m never awake for breakfast), roll into work, roll back home, have dinner, watch The Big Bang Theory, have supper, then go to bed. I know, I know, I need to steady the f**k on. All this excitement could lead to some sort of blood vessel bursting or something.

I do however, have a few invaluable tidbits to share.

Number 01. No matter how cold it may be in your home, having a scolding hot water bottle on your stomach isn’t the best way of warming yourself up. It causes fluid filled blisters, which you then have to cover up with dressings until it heals OR you get a reaction to the adhesive, and you get left with scarring. Lessons have been learned, let me tell you.

Number o2. I am 100% man free, having now ditched Chris/C/Postie/Pirate/Canijust for good. I haven’t actually felt anything towards him for a good 2 years now, but still kept him around just incase I had “needs” that I wanted meeting. But it’s pretty hard to be attracted to somebody who you know is hitting on other girls, rather unabashed, but he broke the golden rule by hitting on a good friend of mine. There is a line that you do not cross, and he just went and did that. So after kindly telling him to fuck off hitting on my friends, he then tried to pretend he didn’t know what I was talking about, and when I wasn’t having any of it, he then deleted me off his friends list on Facebook and has severed all contact with me. Oh, men. : ) But that’s fine. He just beat me to the punch.

So now I have got rid of all the rubbish that I was carrying about with me for the past 4 years, and I can start afresh. Well, I say that, but really I mean remain consistently bitter about everything and not being able to trust any men at all, dying old and alone, yet still secretly thinking it’d be nice to have a fella.

1) My life is very dull.
2) I don’t get much time to update.
3) Did I mention my life is dull?

So I’ll get up to speed in picture form.

I turned 22. Picture blurry due to excitement of a white chocolate and raspberry cake (also because of a 3 second exposure.)

I was given flowers by a customer for, well, just doing my job, but doing it darn well. Typically my manager or co-workers didn’t see any of this, so all my hard work on this particular occasion goes unrecognised!

I dyed my hair reddy-purple. Then it faded to a reddy brown, with some severe roots. Then I dyed it a dark brown, but it turned black. I’m currently saving up for a colour correction. I remember all too well the horrors of trying to outgrow black hair from when I was 14.

I have found someone to replace Michael Weston. Although, like babe Weston, he just recently came off the market as well. However I’m not as emotionally invested so I am certain I can appreciate his face and still get on with my life.

That pretty much does sum up life right now. I’ve been sociable once or twice, but mostly don’t rock the boat. I also found out gammy kidney, turned out to be gammy nerve. And I’m feeling pretty melancholy. I almost definitely need a man. But I will get over this in a day or two I expect.

♥: Melancholy.
♪: Blaqk Audio – Between Breaths (an XX perspective).

I am currently waiting in for a workman who I don’t think is actually going to show up, but I don’t want to get into Assassins Creed: Brotherhood and then he shows up at a good bit. That said though, he was due to come between 8am and 12pm… and it’s now 1:15pm. So perhaps to play Ass Creed: Bro Ho after this will be fine.

So I’ve actually had a bit of a life over the past few weeks. I met up with my old house mate Natalie, who I hadn’t seen since I’d moved out, and it was so good to catch up with her again. Things where we used to live were so messed up, with everyone constantly passing the buck when it came to bills, stealing food etc. that our friendship maybe got a little strained. But it was good to see her and to reassure that there were no hard feelings between the two of us.

I also went to the hospital for a review on my magical toe. Whatever it is, it’s officially benign, but I’ve had to go for reviews and checks on it because if it is going to turn into something, it’d turn into a sinister and aggressive form. To be honest though, I’m more than happy to keep going back, I’d rather have the reassurance that it’s still fine than wondering in the back of my head. Though since the operation I had on it, the new toenail has been pushing it out, so whatever it is is now almost fully outgrown. I guess there’s probably a quarter of an inch left on there? But the doctors are pleased with the progress so far. I have to go back in 6 months and if all is still fine by then, that will probably be my last visit in regards to it.

As of Saturday night I am on holiday for 2 weeks which is blisssss. Because it is my birthday on Thursday and I won’t be in, I got my birthday presents from my boss & co-workers on Friday, and I was genuinely floored and what they got me. They got me some really great stuff and I was so, so touched. I saw in the start of my holiday by going out with Shakthi and Steph who both work with me. It’s the first time I’ve gone out with some co-workers, it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while to get to know them better and I had a really great time, although I’d been at work until 8pm so I was kind of tired before I even left to go out, they’re lucky that they finish a lot earlier than me so they have more time to get ready and relax. Still, it’s always a problem for me. Working Saturday nights is such a social life killer! Not that I have much of one anyway…

I’m going to give this guy another 30 minutes and then I’m booting up Ass Creed. Until then I’m going to do some research into how to decorate my bedroom. I want to go for the boho look, but don’t really know how to go about it? So far my research hasn’t taken me very far. Bedroom fail?

♥: I need to pee.
♪: Katy Perry – E.T. (without Kanye West)