I am officially a recluse.
My landline (and subsequently, internet) has been down for a week now, and as luck would have it, my mobile phone broke at almost the exact same time. So, when I am at not at work, I have no contact with the outside world.
I don’t even have a great lot to do with my friends at the minute, they all seem quick to make plans with me, and even quicker to break them. My two favourite examples of recent times, is arranging to meet up for food, after I get paid, instead, I find that my friend has gone to the place where we were going to go, the day before I get paid, with our usual friends that we hang out with, and then (I’d already assumed our plans were cancelled) went somewhere else entirely different with somebody else the day we were meant to be going out. My other example is arranging to have somebody who I’d not seen for a while come over to mine, and then go out for a drink, and then they just didn’t show up at all. You know who you are.
Thats fine, I’m kind of used to it by now. But what really pisses me off is that I think deep down they don’t bother inviting me out because I say no a lot of the time. I say no a lot of the time because my circumstances are entirely different to them, and they don’t seem to understand that. They are lucky, they work 9 – 5 jobs, have weekends free, and make considerably more money than I do. I would love a 9 – 5 job, with free weekends. I normally get in from work at around 8:30 or 9:30pm, depending on which day it is, including Saturday. Very rarely do I get 2 days off together, and I get 5 weekends free a year. Those Saturdays I’m not free, I don’t particularly fancy going out after spending 8 hours on my feet. Also, most of the time, I’m kind of broke. I have to worry about rent, bills, doing up the place, buying food, and those things kind of take priority over pissing my money away on alcohol and taxi rides. Thats why when I do make plans and I know I can stick to them, I kind of expect people to stick to them also. I also still like to be invited, and included in things, even if I’m not able to go, because, you know, I’m still your friend. I can’t help the hours I work, or the fact I don’t have much spare cash. But don’t use that as an excuse to alienate me, or back down on plans.
Back when I’m no longer a recluse, I guess.
♪: Framing Hanley – Lollipop.