I’m still alive; I’ve just been lacking in an internet connection to update.
I’d love to say that I’ve been leading an extraordinarily exciting life, but really, I haven’t. I wake up, I shower, get dressed and put make up on, I have brunch (I’m never awake for breakfast), roll into work, roll back home, have dinner, watch The Big Bang Theory, have supper, then go to bed. I know, I know, I need to steady the f**k on. All this excitement could lead to some sort of blood vessel bursting or something.
I do however, have a few invaluable tidbits to share.
Number 01. No matter how cold it may be in your home, having a scolding hot water bottle on your stomach isn’t the best way of warming yourself up. It causes fluid filled blisters, which you then have to cover up with dressings until it heals OR you get a reaction to the adhesive, and you get left with scarring. Lessons have been learned, let me tell you.
Number o2. I am 100% man free, having now ditched Chris/C/Postie/Pirate/Canijust for good. I haven’t actually felt anything towards him for a good 2 years now, but still kept him around just incase I had “needs” that I wanted meeting. But it’s pretty hard to be attracted to somebody who you know is hitting on other girls, rather unabashed, but he broke the golden rule by hitting on a good friend of mine. There is a line that you do not cross, and he just went and did that. So after kindly telling him to fuck off hitting on my friends, he then tried to pretend he didn’t know what I was talking about, and when I wasn’t having any of it, he then deleted me off his friends list on Facebook and has severed all contact with me. Oh, men. : ) But that’s fine. He just beat me to the punch.
So now I have got rid of all the rubbish that I was carrying about with me for the past 4 years, and I can start afresh. Well, I say that, but really I mean remain consistently bitter about everything and not being able to trust any men at all, dying old and alone, yet still secretly thinking it’d be nice to have a fella.
Still on the subject of men, I mentioned in my last post of an ever growing infatuation for Spartan from Gladiators, and as beautiful as he may be, I can’t overlook the fact he’s off the market and have moved onto someone else…
Number o3. I have started a bet with a work colleague. If I lose a target amount of weight before she does, she’ll give me £50 to spend on a new outfit to celebrate, and if she gets there before me… well, she gets the satisfaction of being slimmer. In the first week, she lost 5lbs. In the second week, she lost 2lbs. In the third week, she put on 1.5lbs. How much have I lost in the past 3 weeks, on a diet of nothing much more than soup, porridge and salads?
…Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Fuck my actual life.
If anything, I’ll probably be putting on a pound or so this week, considering that I went out for a meal with my parents yesterday and necked several White Russians (if only I meant the other type) and ate a huge plate of Denver fries and steak. But it’s actually ridiculous that I’ve lost nothing. When I have my internet connection sorted, I’m going to keep a food diary on here for a month, complete with the calorie contents (if applicable), and if it all seems in order to me, then I’m going to go and cry at my doctor.
I’m going to the hospital tomorrow, which should be my final visit, all being well with my magic toe. Details on that to follow.
♪: Klassify ft. Sensus & Devonne – Bounce