For the past few days; for reasons I’m not comfortable talking about on here just yet, have been very strenuous emotionally. As a result it’s had my subconscious ticking over and I keep dreaming about Ben. This isn’t a good thing, so I keep waking up in the early hours and am so unsettled, I can’t get back to sleep.
It makes me furious that he’s ruined my life and his is so fucking peachy. I wish that someone could make him see all that he’s put me through and make him feel so incredibly guilty that just for a second, he felt just a tiny fraction of how bad he’s made me feel. Because I don’t deserve any of this. Yet I’m the one being punished.