157. where have all the good men gone & where are all the gods?

I’m still alive; I’ve just been lacking in an internet connection to update.

I’d love to say that I’ve been leading an extraordinarily exciting life, but really, I haven’t. I wake up, I shower, get dressed and put make up on, I have brunch (I’m never awake for breakfast), roll into work, roll back home, have dinner, watch The Big Bang Theory, have supper, then go to bed. I know, I know, I need to steady the f**k on. All this excitement could lead to some sort of blood vessel bursting or something.

I do however, have a few invaluable tidbits to share.

Number 01. No matter how cold it may be in your home, having a scolding hot water bottle on your stomach isn’t the best way of warming yourself up. It causes fluid filled blisters, which you then have to cover up with dressings until it heals OR you get a reaction to the adhesive, and you get left with scarring. Lessons have been learned, let me tell you.

Number o2. I am 100% man free, having now ditched Chris/C/Postie/Pirate/Canijust for good. I haven’t actually felt anything towards him for a good 2 years now, but still kept him around just incase I had “needs” that I wanted meeting. But it’s pretty hard to be attracted to somebody who you know is hitting on other girls, rather unabashed, but he broke the golden rule by hitting on a good friend of mine. There is a line that you do not cross, and he just went and did that. So after kindly telling him to fuck off hitting on my friends, he then tried to pretend he didn’t know what I was talking about, and when I wasn’t having any of it, he then deleted me off his friends list on Facebook and has severed all contact with me. Oh, men. : ) But that’s fine. He just beat me to the punch.

So now I have got rid of all the rubbish that I was carrying about with me for the past 4 years, and I can start afresh. Well, I say that, but really I mean remain consistently bitter about everything and not being able to trust any men at all, dying old and alone, yet still secretly thinking it’d be nice to have a fella.

Still on the subject of men, I mentioned in my last post of an ever growing infatuation for Spartan from Gladiators, and as beautiful as he may be, I can’t overlook the fact he’s off the market and have moved onto someone else…

…Sasha Gavrik from Spooks. Ooft! Brooding, moody, Russian, all-black-ensemble-wearing, lovely baby-blues and a great bum. I actually didn’t think that much of him initially, but then I had a dream (from watching excessive Spooks, I expect) that I was part of MI5 and the CIA were planning an assassination on me, and it was Sasha that came to my rescue.  So now my days of wanting a young Assassin from the Holy Lands to take me away in the night are long gone, it’s all about Russian spies now. And the accent works for me on so, so many levels.

Number o3. I have started a bet with a work colleague. If I lose a target amount of weight before she does, she’ll give me £50 to spend on a new outfit to celebrate, and if she gets there before me… well, she gets the satisfaction of being slimmer. In the first week, she lost 5lbs. In the second week, she lost 2lbs. In the third week, she put on 1.5lbs. How much have I lost in the past 3 weeks, on a diet of nothing much more than soup, porridge and salads?

…Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Fuck my actual life.

If anything, I’ll probably be putting on a pound or so this week, considering that I went out for a meal with my parents yesterday and necked several White Russians (if only I meant the other type) and ate a huge plate of Denver fries and steak.  But it’s actually ridiculous that I’ve lost nothing.  When I have my internet connection sorted, I’m going to keep a food diary on here for a month, complete with the calorie contents (if applicable), and if it all seems in order to me, then I’m going to go and cry at my doctor.

I’m going to the hospital tomorrow, which should be my final visit, all being well with my magic toe. Details on that to follow.

♥: Cold.
♪: Klassify ft. Sensus & Devonne – Bounce

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10 Responses to “157. where have all the good men gone & where are all the gods?”

  1. SLATER says:

    Write a dissertation. I lost 8lb in a week.

  2. Warren says:

    How did your hospital appointment go??

  3. Jemi says:

    Slater; I’ve written a dissertation before. I didn’t stop to see if I was losing any weight, but it’s unlikely seeing as a rabbit food diet ain’t cutting it.

    Warren; The magic toe is no longer magic. :) I don’t have to go for any more hospital appointments, but they did say there wasn’t a clear cut answer of what it was from the biopsy. There was no pigmentation, or sign of infection, and very little sign of trauma. However they have told me to keep an eye on things, and if it ever reoccurs to get another referral to the hospital as if it was going to turn cancerous, it’d be a sinister form. Nothing like scaring you or anything..!

  4. Warren says:

    Thats all pretty good my lovely, good news indeed. Since you’re now not visiting the hospital all the time, will you have more time for me when I next come home?

  5. toni says:

    nice to se some news ! :)

    for the weight loosing diet, exercising is IMO the best way : doesn’t strain your body with malnutrition and you actually get in better shape !

    best of luck !

  6. Jemi says:

    Well, W-Grizzle, that all depends on if you’re willing to set times and dates. Last time I believe you tried to play the spontaneity card and homie does not play that I’m afraid. Especially not with my awkward shift patterns! But I can make time I’m certain.

  7. Warren says:

    You could do with a little spontaneity in your life my booty, especially in the form of me. You know I’m right.

  8. defj says:

    Good to see you back.

  9. Dianis says:

    Hey J, I’ve read your blog a couple of times and it’s really cool, love to read you… and I’m not quite sure if there can be a life more dull than mine… I’m definitely sure if we’d made bets for it, I’d own you a fortune!
    Men.. hmm hard to tell, the good men are married or in relationships, the hottest and delicious prospects are gay… so, what’s left??? many people say this to me: “Dianis, dont worry, somewhere must be your Mr. Right…” yeah tell me where because I always found Mr. Wrong! ;)

  10. Jemi says:

    DNB – thank you. :)

    Dianis – Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy reading my blog. Right? People are always telling me I’m looking in the wrong places for Mr Right… but where do I find them..? You can’t buy them in a supermarket!

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