I feel pretty low.
It’s a feeling I’ve got pretty used to over the past few months. Recently though the feelings have become… not more intense, but rather constant. Different things have built up, came and gone, and but something always comes back to make me feel low. It’s got to the point where everything just seems meaningless, everything I achieve doesn’t mean a thing and that I’m not capable of doing anything handed to me anymore. I just wish I could be given a break for once in my life and just have things go how I want.
I don’t even get upset anymore, I’m just… numb. Sometimes I laugh about it, because if I didn’t I’d cry. But I feel as if I’m drifting from one day to another with no real significance. I have no desire/want to talk about my specific problems, nor do I want to heed advice because I feel it would be useless to me anyway. I am considering texting Ben and telling him that I feel low, but considering how he acts these days and the fact I shouldn’t depend on him because that’s something I should probably get used to sometime soon I feel it would be fruitless. That, and he’s at Reading so he probably won’t care too much.
I’ll just carry on drifting I guess, and hope I catch a break.
♥: …
♪: GPKism – Synthesis